Listening To MS

Chapter 10: Paying Attention to Intuition and Realizing the Power of Intention

I had an experience last year that demonstrated to me the magical workings of the universe. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had and made truly special by synchronistic events that followed. Our lives are a tapestry, a work of art, and the energy that creates all things, is our medium. We choose our colors and create our painting as it materializes before us.

I was at work one Friday afternoon, telling my girlfriend how it had been 20 years since my last visit to Portugal. She was trying to convince me that I was long over due and asked me why I hadn't gone back. The truth is there were always roadblocks: College, money, timing, etc. I reacted in a very ambivalent way and told her I didn't know when I would be able to go again. That Saturday my mom received a call from her sister who was spending the summer there. I soon found out that my grandfather was very ill and the doctors believed it was only a matter of time. There was no blood flowing to his leg and it had been blue and cold for 2 days. They expected gangrene to set in, shortly. He was in excruciating pain and sent home with painkillers to make his last days more comfortable.

That Saturday I contemplated going to see him. But I was a bit scared about flying over the Atlantic this time. I had never been afraid of flying in the past. I had always found it exhilarating as well as serene. I relished the time above the clouds away from it all. But this time I had an uneasy feeling about it. Since I take my intuition very seriously, I examined the feeling carefully. Was it my intuition or was it fear and instinctively was I reacting to that fear? I believe intuition is a knowing that comes from a peaceful place of serenity. Instinct is useful, but works from a primitive level.

Animals have instincts to keep them alive. Watching the rabbits in my back yard I see them run at the sound or sight of anything that moves. Does that mean that they are constantly in harms way? No, they are just unable to process the information mentally in order to decide if the threat is real. So their only option is to run. What an anxious life. We humans have the capacity to make other choices. Not only can we process the experience and put it in its proper perspective and context, but we also have intuition to guide us as well. Through experience and conscious awareness we learn the difference. Keeping this in mind I continued sorting out my feelings.

I asked myself, if it wasn't for the fear of the plane ride, would it feel right to go. If I could magically pop myself over there would I want to be there? The answer was definitely yes. I called my mother and told her I would fly out with her. We got tickets out that following Wednesday, the soonest flight available. My mom suggested we stay 2 weeks, at which point I adamantly said no. It just wasn't possible and I didn't feel right about it. In the meantime I began sending Reiki to vovo (my grandfather).

Reiki is a form of therapeutic touch. Although it is an ancient technique, it was rediscovered in the early 1900's by Dr. Usui. He was the one responsible for sharing Reiki with the outside world. It had for so many years been kept secret and only allowed to be taught to a select few. As a master Reiki practitioner, I had the attunement that would allow me to do distant healing. It couldn't hurt. When we arrived in Portugal a few days later, my aunt told us vovo was feeling much better, his leg was warm and pink and he was hungry and eating well......not to mention drinking his adored red wine. He lives in wine country, with vineyards everywhere. I wrote a note to myself: vovo doing better, doctors are astonished, wonder if Reiki helped. I visited him almost everyday and treated him with Reiki while I was there.

During that time we stayed in my grandfather's home with two of my aunts and uncles. My aunt complained of severe chronic back pain and without knowing of my interests in Reiki, asked if I wouldn't mind giving her a treatment. Almost every evening for the next seven nights, I gave her massage along with Reiki. To this day she can't stop thanking me and telling everyone how my sessions with her alleviated her pain more than any medication or treatment she had ever had. These experiences were as healing for me as they were for them. It is a wonderful feeling to be of service to someone else in such a deeply spiritual way.

I felt literally bathed in love, from the atmosphere of the land itself, surrounded by eucalyptus filled mountain ranges, vineyards as far as the eye could see fields of fragrant lavender and brightly colored yellow hills of sunflowers. Blue, sunny skies that were present the entire time and of course my family who I hadn't seen in 20 years. Many people offered to take me site seeing, especially to the larger cities, Lisbon and the like. But I just wanted to relish in the serenity of this magical atmosphere. The planets and stars must have been in perfect alignment. All variables came together to make this a magical and reaffirming experience. I felt complete, fulfilled. Looking back I realized that I had been immersed in the present moment.

When the time came to return to the states, I knew I would miss the people and the country itself. Leaving the bedroom I slept in, surrounded by such rich history, the very bedroom I was born in, it was bitter sweet. But I kept that wonderful warm feeling with me always. I am grateful for having had the opportunity to experience living in the present moment continuously for an entire week. I knew then bliss was possible and very real.

I arrived back at the states and told myself how silly it was to have been worried about the flight. I didn't know at the time why I felt the discomfort, the fear was unwarranted and I reimmersed myself in my daily routine. Exactly one week after our return, the tragedy of September 11th happened. If we had stayed that extra week, we wouldn't have been able to return as all airports were closed. It was as if the universe had been telling me to go now and enjoy the experience while I still could. It nourished me with love of family and the land, that I had been missing for so long, and gave me a chance to help and make a difference in someone's life. Once again my perspective on life was enhanced. As far as the discomfort I was picking up before the trip, maybe it was a foreshadowing of what was to come. Maybe I was picking up on that negative energy and just didn't understand it at the time. Here's an example of intuition helping us tell the difference between a real imminent threat and instinctive reactions. I had been feeling that something wasn't quite right and felt a general anxiety. I mistakenly associated that anxiety with the flight. By not allowing the fear to paralyze me, and following my intuition instead, I was able to fulfill my desire of seeing my grandfather, and returning safely home as well. It was the last time I had with him. Three years later, on January 28, 2004 my vivacious grandfather, whose hunger and optimism for life were contagious, passed quietly away in his sleep.

I was shaken as we all were by the tragedy of September 11th, and will never forget those who lost their lives, the victims and the heroes. It's more than a tragedy. It will also serve as a reminder that although hatred exists in the world, so does love and joy. It is through experiences such as these that I realize the universe is a dynamic, energetic force with immense healing potential. Whether the experience is on a large scale like this one or on a personal level, like my own in Portugal, we must try to live every day to its fullest and take the time to notice the miracles that surround us.

There are wonderful books that open our minds and help us to expand our awareness. If you're searching for answers and guidance, my recommendation to you is read, read, read. There are intriguing, educational, and inspirational books out there. Whether your interest is spirituality, psychology, holistic health, or String theory there's an endless supply of information. It all depends what direction your interests lie and where your intuition takes you. You don't have to agree with everything an author says. Take what works for you and leave the rest behind, benefiting from their point of view, while making up your own mind as to what is most beneficial to you.

We have spoken of positive and affirming experiences, and how they affect us in many ways, including energetically. What happens when the exposure is a negative one? What happens when we are exposed to unhealthy situations? The potential for an individual to affect us energetically can be tremendously greater than the impact of a crystal. Taking this into consideration, one realizes even more so, why it is so important to surround ourselves with healthy relationships and joyful experiences. This doesn't mean that if you're near a negative person for a day, that this contact will change your life forever. However, if this is your mainstay, if you are surrounded by negative energies consistently, then yes overtime it will affect you on some level. Some of us may be more affected than others depending on how strong our own energy field is at the time.

During a period of physical and emotional vulnerability, it is especially important that we find loving human beings and surroundings. It all comes down to balance. It is idealistic to expect that we can rid ourselves of all negativity. We can take charge and minimize our exposure to it as much as possible. For example, many women love to shop, especially at the mall. I have never enjoyed shopping, particularly at the mall, yet never really understood why. One day I read of someone who had similar dislikes and she explained why. The author described herself as an emotional sponge. Energetically she picked up on other people's feelings very easily, a true empath. If you know how to handle it, this can be a great quality to have, otherwise it can be quite debilitating.

There are some of you who might relate to walking into a room, and without knowing anything that went on, you can feel the tension immediately. Sometimes it's a subtle knowing, but for some they not only know it they feel it, all of it. Imagine not being able to stop picking up someone else's emotions. The worst places to be for an empath are crowded places, like the mall. Well I now understood why I disliked the mall and any crowded place with highly energetic environments. Now whenever I go to places like these, I sit in the car for a moment and center myself. Take deep breaths and visualize a protective loving light surround me. Is this full proof? Nope, but it makes the experience a lot more tolerable and much less draining. Fortunately for empaths the opposite is also true. When empathic individuals are surrounded by positive and uplifting people, these feelings are also picked up quite easily. A deep sense of well being is quickly absorbed.